I USED TO LOVE HIM

See I used to love him,

When his, words were less slick,

And his mind was less thick,

When, truth happened to be the only portion of his speech,

And someway, somehow, my heart he would always reach,

Back when we were such jailbirds caged in each other's love,

And that prison in our hearts was all we were thinking of,

If i cud paint a picture of how we was,

I would be the canvas n he would be the brush,

So that he cud colour me fly,

N my oh my!

We were good together,

Like, rainbows, fly in any weather,

Sorta like Bonnie and Clyde,

Only less vile,

But our love was criminal alright,

Like that, one drug u sniff up insane,

Yet somehow it all started to change.

He who was once my sun now dimmed out into the dark,

Took everything n left me alone with my soul,

Half a soul but a soul all in all,

I was spared!

From living a lie,

From having a bootleg version of love carefully packaged as him,

I was spared!

From picking up after him,

Pretending i enjoyed his sloberry kisses,

I was spared!

And though i'm picking up the pieces of my fragmented soul,

I was spared!

They say that love chooses what to see,

But when the scales fell from my eyes, child!

I realized i was blind!

Loving him for all the wrong reasons,

Needing him by my side through whatever season,

When yet, his heart, his mind, his body longed to be warming another womans bed.

I was played a fool on the stage of his life,

So it wasn't my cue to call for the curtain closing.

Do i hate him?

No! Yet i wish i did so that things would end differently,

They would end my way,

But i chose the road less travelled,

I chose to seek for healing,

To, purge my heart, my soul and mind of his bile,

And when the healing came,

I boxed up all the dead emotions and returned them to sender,

I, I finally understood it all,

It was never me to begin with,

Sure, i put my blood, my bones, my life into it all,

If you ask me,I'mma tell u that I used to love him,

But now,

Now I don't,

Now I don't...