IN MY SKIN . . . Miss Duchess ♫

A cold world i roam forlorned,

Insecure,

Conscious,

For i am branded,

Assigned a name and required to fit the bill,

To find home in it,

To own it,

To embrace the identity given me.

I live in constant fear of mirrors,

So i choose to remain blind,

For i fear that they too shall resound,

That i am imperfect,

That my flaws are my only perfection,

That i can never be beautiful,

In my skin.

I awake each morning and choose a facard,

Something to shelter me from the world,

Something to help me through the day,

Something to hide the pain,

Something to bar my tears,

Something to hold my smile,

Till i can go back home,

And break where no one can see.

In the comfort of these four walls,

These four walls that are my bathroom,

My heart suffers violence,

There before that mirror,

I am tormented by voices,

Fat,

Ugly,

Overweight,

Less than perfect,

And as a weary soldier,

I stomach the beatings from the world,

And retire to bed a depleted soul.

Even in my dreams i am held captive,

Lost in the warpings of others,

Chasing after the fading image of a more perfect me,

Elusive and running, hiding in a maze,

The image of me i am trying to embrace,

A me that is jaded by my bruised esteem.

The light of the day is the bane of my life,

It is then that i am reminded of my form,

Then the struggle that haunted me yesterday,

Becomes real again,

Brushing up the back of my neck,

Grining at me for i am impotent in it's clutch,

Flashing before me images of what lies in store,

For it knows that i am helpless.

Do not judge me,

For despising myself,

For seeking to be different,

For hating the person i am,

In this skin,In my skin,

For i know that you too fall victim,
To a world hungry for comparison.

My tears have run dry,

My cries cannot save me,

I am bound,

Trapped in between who i think i am,

And who i want to be,

A prisoner of the paradigms chaining my mind,

Lost in this warped reality.

Shall i choose to be jailed forever in my fear?

Shall i let my insecurities feed off my soul,

And slowly kill my spirit?

Or shall i fight to redeem what the world stole,

From me,

a helpless soul?

I know somewhere deep down inside,

I love myself for who i am,

I know that i am unique,

That there is only one me,

A me that can truly be,

In my skin.

Therefore i choose,

I choose to free my mind,

From the captivity of the voices of the world,

From myself,

I choose to listen to the Voice of God,

Of He who fashioned me so wonderfully,

Of He who can restore the love of myself,

Of He who calls me child,

In this skin...

It is a journey,

One that i choose to walk all my life,

The voices of the world may not cease,

Insecurities may find crevices in my life,

And creep in again seeking a home,

And i may fall in the same hole again,

In my moments of weakness,

But this one thing i know,

As long as the Most High lives,

I shall embrace the truth,

Truth that says that i am beautiful,

Yes,

Beautiful,

In my skin...